Don't Lie To Me
by Nerdy Ninja in Training
Summary: Everybody lies...It's the only truth sometimes
1. Just A Game

**A/N: New story! Yay! Big thanks you to Song Six for betaing, Love You! **

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><p><em>It all started when he saw them for the first time. He should've known it was all doomed from the start, should've seen what was happening but he couldn't have kept himself away if he tried.<em>

_It was surreal. To hear that there were other sidekicks was amazing. He thought he was the only one with a crazy rich ass mentor (not that he knew all their mentor's were millionaires...not that it couldn't be true either) that made him his sidekick. _

_He meet Robin first and it was crazy how the kid was so young; yet, he had so much experience. He knew he'd been in this 'hero business' longer than he had himself but he thought the kid would be...older. He thought that he would act the same as his mentor. He'd heard stories about Batman from Ollie but sometimes the older archer liked to exaggerate...now he saw he wasn't kidding. The guy was dark and brooding and it was hard to believe the boy, who hadn't stop smiling at all, was his partner. _

_But, God, the kid could move. And his smile was surprising to see. Gotham was a hell hole and to see this kid so happy was a freaking miracle. And he wasn't really the believer but that had to be magic. Him of all people must know how the whole world was turning into crap, with what people were doing to each other, and yet he's as happy as the world would let a kid be._

_So, the first time Robin had done his 'ninja moves' and suddenly appeared in front of him he jumped back almost landing on Ollie. That was the first time he heard his laugh. He didn't understand the effect it had on him._

_And the next time he saw Robin again he was with Kid Flash. _

_And that kid surprised him even more than Robin. His smile was infectious, green eyes bright filled with joy, and he couldn't stop moving. It was hard not to smile back. And, the fact that he seemed even more happy than the acrobat, was as puzzling as it was amazing. And he _was_ sorta like his mentor, cracking the worst and cheesiest jokes ever, and always seeing the bright side of things._

_It was amazing to see that these kids didn't care what was wrong with the world. They knew they could help clean it up a little by little each day and that was enough for them. To know that they were doing something to make this better. _

_And he realized right then that they're one of a kind, the fact that he meet these two was unbelievable, and that he has them right here next to him was more comforting than it should have been._

Roy sighed and looked around his apartment.

He didn't want to think about why it felt so empty,_ when_ _it used to feel so full, _and ignored the dull pain in his chest.

He looked at the coffee table in front of him. Magazines were thrown into a pile on top of it and he could see the stained ringlets on it left from past drinks. He looked at the TV not really paying attention to the show that was on dazed.

He glanced down to the bottle in his hand- opened and half way full. _His heart felt half way empty._ He felt like throwing it against the wall. However, he set it down on the table instead. Drinking wouldn't help him. He couldn't stop thinking about _anything_. He felt like his thoughts were going a million miles a minute, and all drinking would do was mess things up and give him one hell of a headache.

"_Hey, Roy?"_

_He looked up to see those green eyes staring back at him. The speedster was smiling, and it felt great to know someone was happy to see him._

_They were at his apartment, and somehow Wally coming over to visit was an annual thing. Roy was getting used having him around so much. Even when Dick came with him._

"_Yea?" He asked. _

_Things always seemed better when they were around. Anywhere, it didn't matter, everything always seemed okay with them. Roy was happy with that. He was content knowing that they'd always be there for him, and he for them. _

_He knew he was happier when someone else was with him. That person, right now, was Wally. Lately the kid seemed to be coming over everyday, even when Dick couldn't. He would always open his front door to find Wally there._

_The worst part is, he was actually happy knowing someone didn't mind seeing him. It made his heart swell just to know that they came because they _wanted_ to, not because they _had_ to._

_He watched as the kid came to sit next to him on the couch. They were literally inches apart from each other. He could feel the heat coming off the speedster. But he wasn't looking Roy in the eye anymore._

"_Would you lie to me?" Roy watched as he bit his lip and starred at the floor. _

_Wally had told him before that he needed to have more faith in people. He had frowned because he couldn't see how this kid had such blind faith in someone he didn't even know. He was a hero, he knew what people do to each other for money, disagreements, for love, and even for the hell of it. Yet, he still had faith in them. He would've preferred the kid believe in magic._

_He cocked an eye brow," Depends, will I have to tell you how you look?"_

_Wally went pale at that, but scoffed and elbowed him in the ribs. " I look better than you," He smiles," and you won't ever have to tell me something I already know." He looked up to meet his eyes," what do you mean by 'depends'?" _

"_I mean it depends on what you're asking."_

He looked over at the empty end of the couch and sighed. They haven't seen each other in months and Roy was fine with that. He was used to being alone.

"_Promise me you won't leave?"_

He wasn't worried about them. No. He knew they could take care of themselves.

"_You left us to fend for ourselves!"_

But, he still wondered about him. No matter how much he didn't want to think about him it was hard to stop. Their smiles, their laughter...

_His smiles, his laughter, his green eyes, his red hair, his broken face, his tears, his bruises...so so many bruises..._

He shook his head trying to rid himself of the images that were burned inside his head. As if that would make himself forget. He found himself gripping the bottle again. He felt disgusted and didn't have a problem with throwing it at the wall this time. He felt satisfied to watch it hit and shatter into pieces.

_He looked at the sleeping boy next to him. He was surprised the kid was here. He just came back from patrol and found him here on the couch already asleep. _

_He was curious as to why he was here, but he didn't have it in his heart to wake the kid up. He looked bone tired, even in his sleep. _

_But...he also looked content. Like he was happy sort of. Like he was...safe. It felt off to say such a thing he couldn't put a finger on it either though..._

_He sighed, he'll ask what was up with the kid later. For now he was gonna enjoy his favorite pass time- watching TV. He was lucky to be able to get home on time before one of his shows were on. _

_He hoped he told Barry he was staying over though. He sighed and turned his attention from the sleeping boy to the TV. Stretching and trying to get as comfortable as he could with Wally taking up all the space on the couch._

_The show was thirty minutes in when he heard a soft content sigh. He looked at the younger red head. To say seeing his face so calm was surprising would've been a lie. Sure, it was amazing that his features allowed anything relatively close to a frown, but he was happy to see anything but a smile on Wally's face. He was seeing too much of that smile lately and too much of a good thing can only lead to bad. If he wasn't mistaken, it seemed forced to his eyes. As if, he was _trying_ too hard to keep it there. _

_He shook his head; he was getting way to ahead of himself. If something was wrong than surely Wally would have told him...on second thought he'll ask Dick later...or Barry- either one would be good honestly. _

_He studied the boy, the TV completely forgotten. He knew everyone had their own skeletons in their closet, but as far as he knew, Wally had none. That worried him a little. Then again, a little mystery every once and a while was good for your health-Robin's words, not his. _

_He brought his hand up and moved the hair out of Wally's eyes. God, how could he have made it this far without them? It was hard to imagine what his life would been, they saved him in more ways than one. They taught him so much. He needed to give something back, anything back so they knew he was just how much they meant to him. He didn't care if they already knew it, they needed something to have proof of it. He started tracing the arch of Wally's brow. He had a strange feeling that he was gonna miss this and was filled with dread. _

_After tracing the eye brow one last time, he moved his fingertips down to his jaw line. He was exceptionally happy that Wally let him see him vulnerable like this, that the kid could trust him so much. It made warmth shoot across his chest. The kid was an open book, everyone knew that, give him a kicked puppy and he'll sure enough look like one too. But he hardly let anyone see an ugly side to him. He knows that everyone hurts...but..._

_He ran his thumb over Wally's bottom lip. It was surprisingly smooth to him. He closed his eyes and kept listening to the fast heart beat. It was strangely calming, and he started to get tired. He sighed and moved his palm to where it was flat on Wally's cheek, rubbing his thumb in circles over a freckle. Wally had made a whimpering noise and Roy froze as he was stunned when he leaned subconsciously into his touch. He allowed himself a small smile before finally pulling his hand away. _

_God he was more tired than he thought. He turned down the volume all the way on the TV and listened to the rhythmic way the speedster was breathing. He ended up falling asleep on the kid without realizing it._

He didn't need the memories anymore. He wanted to feel numb, wanted to stop remembering everything, but it was like everything was playing over and over in his head. He was able to avoid thinking about everything until now, so why the hell did his mind decide to take a trip down memory lane tonight?

"_Everyone ends up alone in the end. I can't see why you're so worried about it."_

He choked on a sob; he couldn't remember why those words stung. It hurt too much, it was like someone saying 'I told you so', and look where he was right now. Alone. He grabbing at the air to try and steady himself, gasping instead of taking the slow deep breaths he intended to do. It was pathetic.

He didn't know those words could be so true.

_He smiled and Roy's breath hitched," You know most people are afraid of being alone for the rest of their life...Would you be scared?" _

Life was different without them but...was it better? Were they happy?

No. Life wasn't better without them, _anything_ was better when he at least had someone by his side.

_All the smiles, the laughter, feeling needed...was gone._ And he had no one to blame but himself. He couldn't deny it, he'd ruined anything that was even remotely good for him.

He needed to stop.

_He hated himself. He didn't realize that he let down the two most important people in his life. He didn't know what to do to fix this. He couldn't even imagine how._

_It hurt._

He didn't know...and he didn't want to anymore. He wanted to feel numb. He wanted to stop remembering everything, but it was like everything was playing over and over in his head.

He wasn't ready to go over all of this, but he was still looking for what went wrong. He needed to stop and just accept the fucking fact that it all went straight to hell and get on with his life. He looked at the shattered bottle again...now he really wished he hadn't thrown it against the wall. Such a waste...

He shook his head again, and left for patrol.

Life was better without them. He didn't need anyone, he only depended on him himself and he's made it this far so he could keep going that way.

"_Please..." His look pleading, begging," It's easier when you're here...Don't make...don't make me go through this alone. Don't make yourself do this alone."_

He concentrated to the sound of his feet pounding as he ran.

He's pretending he doesn't miss anything. That he already has everything he wants. It didn't matter if he ever saw them again.

He's pretending they never even walked into his life without a backward glance and practically stole his heart without even trying. He never saw their smiles that he missed so much, and never heard their laughter. Never saw their bright eyes starring up at him, and never heard their voices. He never held them close and told them he would make things alright, and never saved them from dying right there in front of him. Never seen their tears, and he never saw the pain in their eyes. He hasn't told them his fears, and he never failed them. He never thought of them as brothers at some point, and he never let them go. They never saw him lose himself, and they never helped him. They haven't taught him anything in life, and he never asked himself what he'd done to fuck it up. He never felt the press of lips against his...

He never felt his heart skip a beat when their eyes met. He never thought of what it would be like to kiss him speechless. Never held his hand and felt the burning fire when their skin touched, He's never seen his freckles, and they've never looked at the stars. He's never stolen side glances at him, and he doesn't miss him. He doesn't care for his unruly red hair, and warmth never shot across his chest when he came to him. He hasn't heard him say his name, and he doesn't miss the way he would do certain things. He never felt better when he told him it would be alright...

...he doesn't feel the dull pain growing in his chest worsen.

_Roy cocked an eyebrow," Like what you see?"_

_He could've sworn he saw Wally blush," Meh, it's alright...Would be better with the shirt off." he wiggled his eye brows._

_Roy couldn't stop the laugh that burst from his mouth._

He was used to lying to himself.

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><p><strong>AN: Been working on this for awhile then my computer got a virus and had to start all over...But, I like this verison better:) **

**Plz Review and tell me what you thought, Ask me anything I don't bite!;)**


	2. Broken Arrow

**Sorry this took so long to update! No excuse for it really... Anyways thanks to TheWickedWizardofOz for betaing :D **

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><p><em><strong>Four Years and Nine Months Ago, March<strong>_

He was a clone. He wasn't anything but a fucking lie on feet. He didn't even know _what_ he was anymore.

He thought he was Roy Harper. That at some point in his life he'd been adopted by Ollie and became his partner, Speedy. He thought he was a hero. That he deserved his place on the League. As one of the big kids flying around with capes, busting villains, and carrying their asses to jail.

He was nothing but a traitor.

All of it pre-programming to get into what he wanted, to prove he could make into the League and only to take them down and leave them under a villain's control.

The Roy Harper he thought he was didn't exist. He wasn't the heroic Speedy prancing around with Green Arrow. He wasn't Red Arrow. He wasn't a Hero. He didn't even deserve to be on the Justice League much less the brief time he was on the Team.

He didn't deserve the life he thought he had. He couldn't go on living the lie they created, what he stole- _what he took._ He couldn't even stand looking himself in the mirror anymore and see _his_ face. See the life that should have lived. The life that could have been saved if anyone _just fucking noticed -_he couldn't help but want to smash that mirror.

To watch as his fist breaks the glass, see it shatter and break apart in every possible way. He's sick of it. Sick of living a life that wasn't meant for him, of feeling guilty, of breathing when the _real_ Roy could be dead. Buried in a ditch that only God knows where, lifeless and dead and long gone.

This wasn't him. His personality, his looks, his hair, his life, being a hero - it all meant nothing to him now. All of it's fake. Programming. _He wasn't real._

He was never supposed to be… here.

The image staring back at him in the mirror reminds him of what he is and what he's not every day.

All he knew _- everything he's known-_ was a lie. He wasn't a hero. He wasn't even a sidekick. He is a traitor. A doll -a _fucking puppet- _to be controlled; all of his strings and cut him loose when he was no longer needed.

He was a broken puppet.

He did do it. He gave away secrets of the League. Accused someone else -three other people- that they were something he was all along. A fake, a criminal, scum, good for fucking nothing, a puppet, _a fucking traitor_.

And yet they still treat him as one of them. Not any different than they used to except the fact that it shows they're more careful around him, more watchful. As if he would blow up in their faces _which he was so close to doing_ and stomp off and not speak to anyone of them for a week. They still call him Roy. Even though he's told them over and over that he's not him they insist on calling him it. Saying _his _name and making him feel more guilty every time he hears it.

He's _not _Roy, he's not. He never was. He was nothing. But yet, Wally and Robin still looked up to him. Completely forgave him without a second thought. He could tell they did just by the looks of their faces. By what they said. They didn't, couldn't, believe he was the mole. Even when Batman told them it was them out front they denied it.

The thought had him making a bittersweet smile.

Of course they would. They didn't have a reason not to until now.

He couldn't even bring himself to go see them. Not after last time. No matter how many times he's ignored their calls and texts, they still kept trying to talk to him. To see how he was handling things. To see if he went off the deep end yet and if they were able to keep him from jumping off the edge.

He couldn't take looking at them and realize he also took this opportunity from the real Roy. Took the chance from him to see them. Get to actually know the faces behind the masks, see their bright eyes looking up to him like he's the most amazing thing in the world, see them fighting side by side, and know how they thought they could save the world over and over because there was still some good left in it. Feel the breeze kick up when Wally sped up to him or how the kid could never stop talking even if his life depended on it. Or hear Robin's creepy laugh ring throughout the night and see how badly he fucked up the English language.

He could make a long list of the things he took from Roy. There aren't any good things to add to it. All he could add are the bad and how royally fucked up this all is.

How could they even look at him? How could they see him and think 'That's Roy Harper' when all he saw was a clone.

A cheap knockoff of the real thing.

** ..::..**

"Roy."

Of course, Wally would be the one to catch up with him. He pauses but doesn't bother looking back. God, it was so good to hear his voice. He'd give up anything to turn around and not feel guilty to look at his face. To be the one to see Wally alive and breathing right in front of him like the real one should've-

Roy closes his eyes, debating whether or not to ignore the kid when his voice rings out on the rooftop again.

"Roy-"

His hands clench into fists, "I'm_ not _Roy." His tone is hoarse and rough from disuse. He hasn't spoken a single word in d_ays _and now regrets it. But what was he supposed to say to nowadays?

He goes on as if the clone hadn't even interrupted him, "listen, you don't have to do this on your own. We can help-"

"Kid-" He turns around to face Wally. Sees he took his mask off and it makes it that much harder to look at him. Sees that at this point he didn't care if someone could just look up at the rooftop they were on and see his face. So easy to read- so hopeful-

"You don't have to do this alone. We're looking for him too, Roy. The League's doing everything they can-"

"I don't _need_ your help, West." Wally's hopeful expression breaks, those bright green eyes darken, and his expression becomes harder. His stomach twists in on itself at knowing Wally's tired of hearing how much he doesn't need their help. He knew all of them were.

The speedster's fists are balled up now and he takes a few steps closer to him, "And what leads do you have? Are you any closer to finding Speedy than you were a month ago?" Wally takes a breath to calm himself down, and he's never done that before so why would he ever try to hold back-

"C'mon, Roy, you know you've got a better chance of finding him with us than on your little mission to become the next Batman."

He pretends to be annoyed at the joke, but really, it almost makes him smile to see how desperate they've been to find him and get him to work with them and [that Wally's] still wisecracking when he really shouldn't. He doesn't know why he was expecting that to change. Probably because a lot of things have tipped off the scale lately and have changed ever since he was hunted down by the League but he was glad this one thing didn't change.

He lets himself forget for a moment that he didn't deserve to be redeemed trustworthy and simply relishes in the fact that Wally was doing this to bring him back into the circle of heroes. Even when he wasn't worth bringing back the kid just couldn't seem to get a clue and see he didn't belong with them. Wally was always harder to shake off than Robin.

"I'm doing just fine-"

"Why not admit that you need help?" Wally's voice is getting more impatient and he clenches his jaw, "Roy, come back and we'll be there to help. We are now, but you pushing us away doesn't change what we think of you."

He already knows what they think of him. He doesn't need to hear it again but he asks, "And what do you think of me?" Because he can and wants to just to get Wally mad enough to walk away from him. But the kid has other plans and all of them lead to getting him to let the League help him find the real Roy Harper.

But he just can't- he needs to do this himself. Needs to be the one to save him and set him free so he doesn't feel like he was a fucking life snatcher.

"You already know what we think of you, Roy-"

"How many times do I have to tell you West? I'm not Roy- I wasn't even Speedy-"

"You're Roy." He really wished Wally would do anything but take a few steps closer to him so he takes a few steps back- "Clone or not, you're Roy- Red Arrow-" Why did he have to take off his fucking mask? "and that's all you'll ever be." Wally's voice and eyes are pleading and he couldn't take looking at him. But he forces himself to keep a steady gaze, "We're here to help, we're already doing everything we can to find him. It's top priority- There's already people out there searching. It's the best we can do."

Why are they wasting their time on a fake? He was going to do this on his own. No help from the League or the Team. He didn't need their help because he was just fine doing it alone. Alone is what he wants, he couldn't hurt anyone or royally fuck up again if it was all on him. If he was the only one getting hurt, he couldn't screw up someone else's life. He doesn't matter so why are they so intent on keeping by their side? He didn't even deserve anything they had to give him.

They deserved the real Roy. Not a cheap copy of him.

"It's going to be alright-" Wally knows he's about ready to bolt so he that few steps closer again and he tenses, "We'll find him, Roy-"

"I'm _not _him-"

"I swear," Bright green eyes- so hopeful, pleading, begging him to say he'll come back and the look is all wrong on Wally- "We'll find him and bring him back. If you just come back everything will be okay. It'll be alright-" It sort've seems like he's trying to convince himself, "We'll find him together."

Right now he's pretty damn happy Robin didn't come. Wally's kicked puppy look was enough to almost make him cave in and get on his knees to crawl back to them. God knows how much he wants to- to see Ollie and Dinah. Kaldur. Robin. All the people that should have never trusted him in the first place but did and still did to this day and he couldn't make the sickening feeling in his stomach go away-

There's a warm hand on his elbow, startling him and he looks down to the glove before looking back up to the kid's face, "It'll be just like it used to be, Roy. You can still do your solo hero thing and work with us."

He knows it won't ever be like it used to but that doesn't mean he can't just go and see- it's all changed and never the same. He was hunted by them, he thought he was someone he wasn't for the past three years, still living a lie, living, breathing, and talking to someone who the real Roy should've met and would be talking to now if he hadn't taken his place.

But that doesn't mean he still can't hope.

He searches Wally's face to see if he really means it. He [doesn't] deserve this. But he couldn't look at the kid and tell him 'no'. He couldn't make himself do it. He just opens his mouth to speak but the words wouldn't come. He couldn't turn them down again.

He looks away and the hand on his arm tightens.

Not again. At least not this time. He shrugs off the hand on his arm as he turns away. Walking to the edge of the rooftop as he grabs his bow from his back, "I'll swing by the Mountain tomorrow." He throws over his shoulder and thinks he hears a 'Thanks' come out of Wally's mouth before he jumps off the building.


End file.
